You Know

Is one poly dynamic better than another one? Hard to say, but I guess I should word it differently. Is one poly configuration easier than another?

One to one is mathematically easier. We all know that: not better, but easier. What about the threesome?

I suppose this depends. Are we talking a “V” or a triad?

The V seems kind of hard. There is always one left out with nothing to do. The triad seems like there would only be someone left out some of the time but not all of the time. Both may be a problem, actually it all depends.

Depends on....?

How needy everyone is. Do you know how high maintenance you are? You should find out. The best way to do it is to ask those around you. Be prepared if you want honest answers. You may not always realize how much it takes to keep you happy.

I never realized it, but I was always around people who had the energy to expend and didn't mind. It wasn't until I met someone who didn't have the same levels that I found out that yes, indeed, I am high maintenance.

Wait... does this mean I've always been high maintenance or just for this one person?

Do you see where I'm going with all of this? You do, but not all of you know it yet.

Okay, here goes... poly mathematical equations: While what's easier than this or that, or how much maintenance are all important parts of the equation, they aren't the key to it. The key is who you are and who your lover(s) are.

I am high maintenance to one person, but not to another. So what does that mean? It means you have to pay attention to your partners and really get to know them, and communicate as best you can, to make any of your poly choices work. You want a string of lovers, fine. You want a triad, an N, a V, a hexagon, a circle, a beating down of every paradigm that ever was, then do it. Just know who you are doing it with.

See, I told you that you already knew what I was talking about.

So, what's better? What's easier? Like I always say, it depends. It depends on you.