Wow, I just came by to check things out and realized that I haven’t written a single post for 2009. It’s almost March and shit…You’d think I’d have something to say to start of the new year.
I guess at this point it’s more like crawling into the new year.
There hasn’t been much going on, not lately. Though really, there have been some major life changes. I wrote about it when it initially occurred, but some interested parties did not like it. So, that original post lasted “on air” for about 4 hours. Since then, I’ve been going over how to say what I want, get my feelings across,what I want, etc.
I find that complete honesty will be hard. What I have to say some don’t want to hear. Maybe you don’t want to hear it either, but I know interested parties won’t want to. So, I’ve written umm……a few versions and each has been tossed into the can.
Funny how honesty isn’t always easy. Not even delving into poly and forcing yourself and others involved to choke it down seems to make it any easier.
Anyway, that’s were I am. Caught in a “Should I or shouldn’t I?” kind of thing. Or maybe it’s not a matter of should, but how?
I don’t know. It’s so hard to say and maybe all of this means I’m just not ready to talk about things and maybe the things I need to talk about aren’t ready either.
Maybe I’m making things way tooooooo complicated.
Yeah, maybe. I don’t care at the moment, though. I just know life is so much better than it has been. My world is getting brighter, things are changing for the best, everyone involved seems to be happier than they once were. It just took a couple of steps to make it so.
Hmmm, maybe I’m making you wonder. Hell, I know I am. All this can be the great mystery of the year. You know, you probably already know. You just don’t want to say you know because there’s this little, itty, bitty, part of you saying, “Nah, that’s not it.”
You might be right.
It may not be it.
That’s all I got to say for now, a lot of nothing. I will get back to you on all the changes, the mysteries, the better than whats and keep on keeping on. I hope all is well in your poly worlds and that you understand that sometimes to be happy, you have to make some hard choices.
Love ya!!!!
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1 comment:
Heyo from another female secondary out in the vast webosphere! Ran across your page during some research on poly and it's good to know that there is someone speaking out, speaking up, standing tall for the secondaries. We have a tough row to hoe in our lovestyle and it is so vital to keep our boundaries strong and communication open. I am currently in the midst of renegotiating my relationship with my triad in light of their executive decision to have kids. Love is great, but we have to keep ourselves healthy too.
Cheers!
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