This is for the non-primary, the secondary, the one who got there after. Regardless of your self-identifier, this page will address the issues that one may face when entering a pre-existing relationship. In some instances it is harder. In others it is not. This is not about contesting who has it worst. It is about seeing things from the other point of view. I speak with the authority of living it. I have no PHD's, so take my words as you will.