Moseying Along

I have been wondering what to write about for about a week now. I have nothing grandiose to say nor do I have a life lesson to hand out. Why? Because except for one aspect of my poly life that I am not ready to talk about, nothing is going on.

The world is stable.

I think I said I wanted a moment of calm. I wanted a string of days that would turn into a string of weeks of no drama, no issues, no turbulence on the ride.

I am smoothly moseying along.

I am smoothly moseying along.

I just wanted to repeat that. I wanted to let myself know that there are times like these and months and months from now when the word seems a little fucked, I can look back and say…

I am smoothly moseying along.

Or was, depending.

I need to know that there are ups with the downs. I need to know that while I am in the middle of thinking the world sucks and is apparently against me that at least for a month or so it took a break. It was off messing with someone else or just taking a vacation from me.

(You do know the world is focused on me?)

Do you journal? Do you have any way to mark the times when things were good? I think many of us tend to focus on the bad stuff and forget about all of the goodness that happened in between. I think some of us don’t really worry about happy times because we gauge our lives on the accumulation of bad rather than good.

In other words, some of us focus on the negative. Some of us will spot the negative possibilities way before we get to the positive.

Some of us.

But not you and me right?

You and I are going to look at all of the goodies in our basket before we focus on what isn’t there.

You and I are going to take a moment and reflect on all of the kind things that our lovers and family have done for us. We are going to look at the progress we have made since we started all of this, whatever all of this may be.
We are going to take the time to do this because if we focus too much on all of the shit we will just be stomping around thinking about shit.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to spend all of my time on the mental crapper.

I don’t know if things are running smoothly for you now. If they are reflect on it. Be happy and remember all the good stuff and put that in your goody basket. ( I know, you want me to run off and find better metaphors.)

If things aren’t going so well you can still look at the good stuff. Maybe it would be a good idea to compare the piles. Is the shit you are going through now worth it? Is there more good than bad?

Those can be hard questions to answer because if the answer is ‘There is more bad than good” then we are at the onset of some difficult decisions. Some of those decisions may take sacrifice, not just yours but those around you. Those decisions may change your life and lead you to something new, someone new.

Whatever the case we need not be afraid of the hard stuff. We need to understand that shit happens, you clean it up and move on. Otherwise life is just a big pile of…

Yeah, you know what I am getting at.


Just in case you didn’t notice, I didn’t make any comparisons between monogamy and polyamory. I didn’t because there is no need. Some problems are just universal no matter the structure of your relationship.

So while we are trying to spin our minds to think of the positive, I think we should stop trying to demand absolute separation of monogamy and polyamory relationship dynamics.

There are some differences, some major ones, but all in all the constant us and them mentality sets all of us up to be exclusionary.

By polyamorists touting how different they are, how much they are breaking the mold, etc, we end up condoning that we are somehow defective not only in the minds of monogamists, but in the polyamorist mind as well.

You may think it is totally cool to fly your freak flag, You may have been pushed so far outside the norm that you underscore your differences so no one else will. But you know, that is for high school. That is for the insecure. If you are confident in who you are then just be that. If it’s different, cool. If it’s not , cool.

It’s okay to be proud of who you are, but please, stop reinforcing the very thing you are running from. All I see in a freak flag are frightened little kids.